I can always tell when I am in a downside of a depression because all the sudden have nothing to say. And anyone who knows me, knows I RARELY ever have nothing to say! I have struggled with depression off and on for a few years. Frankly, I think it is all hormonal but what ever it is, sometimes it is dark and dreary.
I went through a change these last few weeks. I had to figure out a new way to do things to fill a void that was created by the change that had to be made. I don't mean to be so cryptic, but it truly is a very personal thing. The THING doesn't matter so much as the lessons it is teaching, so there is no real need to air the details of my personal laundry..
I remembered a talk that I heard at least a year ago.. maybe more. A talk by a church leader that really struck a cord with me and I knew inside, that it was one of the things that had been missing in me for a while. I am going to share part of it here and hope that you will read the rest on your own sometime and see if it dosen't ring true for you also. Here is the link and a portion of the talk. http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0& sourceId=15674bb52a73d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
"The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.
But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy.4 Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us.5 The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
Nearly a century and a half ago, President Brigham Young spoke to the Saints of his day. “There is a great work for the Saints to do,” he said. “Progress, and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. Build cities, adorn your habitations, make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations. In the mean time continually seek to adorn your minds with all the graces of the Spirit of Christ.”6
The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."
I can't tell you how much of a difference just THINKING about making something did for me. I have known this principle for many years. I remember sitting at my desk at work just WISHING I had something more creative to do, so while I was taking calls or on a break, I would turn my desk supplies into different creatures. My favorite was the stapler that I turned into an alligator. I thought it was brilliant. Whatever it was, it made me feel better for that moment to have done something creative.
Over the past few weeks, I have made a scarf for my daughter, learned a few new crochet skills, make homemade lip balm, and tried some new recipes. Though I still recognize I feel depressed.. the weight of that depression lifted considerably. I think my husband recognizes this too because he has not said a single word about all the yarn I have brought home. He even drove me to the health food store to get all my lip balm supplies which were neither free nor on sale..:) He is so good to me. I do not deserve such a man, but since I got him, I plan to keep him.( He will not be able to ever leave me because I have the softest lips ever made by the lip balm he encouraged me to create)
I feel certain that the things I make will never make mark on the world, but for sure, they leave a mark on me. A mark that tells me I can learn to fulfill the measure of my creation. I have a purpose. I may not always understand what it is, but at least when I am trying to create something beautiful around me, I am getting closer to learning what it is.
Yep..
I am thinking once a month may be enough for everyone!!
1 comment:
Way to go Teri! :) I love blogging and really love to read my friend's blog. Think of it as journaling.... for your family, and for yourself. I promise you that you'll eventually start thinking of things to write.
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