So my green smoothie plan was a total fail on my part. I still have never gotten to it! I am not sure how I got so busy all the sudden. Maybe it was starting this job!
I haven't worked out side the home since my oldest, who is 18 was 5. That is a long time, but when my brother asked if I would like to fill in temporarily/ possibly permanently, as the receptionist at his work, I thought, what the heck! My kids are all in school and because my husband is home doing his school work during the week, there was no reason for both of us to be there 24/7.
I have learned a great deal in the last 4 weeks of being at work!
On one hand, getting a paycheck and feeling like I am contributing is nice. Having a job makes me feel useful. It is inspiring me to go finish my education so I can do a  job that I will love. I don't mind this, but to be honest, I am blogging a work because it is VERY slow and boring..(.btw, if you need to granite in your house.. give me a call!!) But it has given me tons of time for some things that I need to do anyway. Like scriputre study. I have gotten some great in site in the last few days from having time to really digest some passages and talks.It has given me lots of time to look at things I want to do to my house and yard. I have had tons of time to look at homeschool ideas. I have brushed up on my math skills ( although there are really not enough hours in the day to grant me the kind of help necessary to really "get" math...)  I have reconnected with some old friends, I have read lots of blogs and gotten lots of inspiration in almost every area of my life. So while, on one hand, I have had plenty of time to think of what I want to do, I have no actual real time to do any of it! It is a catch 22!( where did that phrase come from anyway?) I am darned if I do, and I am darned if I don't.

 I have decided one thing is certain, in order to be fulfilled in a job outside the home, I would need to be able to help people and make a difference. Years and years of being home with kids can sometimes make me feel like I am not making a difference, I am not helping anyone. But being away from home reminds me of all the reasons I had always wanted to be a mom and a home maker in the first place. I do make a difference, I do matter and I do help people.

So I am not certain what step I will take next. I feel pulled to go to school..but not certain about what area of study I should pursue. I am trying to find my passion and my direction and it is possible I just needed a little break from what I did every day to make me understand that my passion and my direction is still the same as it always was. To be home, taking care of my family..being there for my friends, engaging with my community, serving in my church and creating a home. Maybe I needed a break to just help me be more passionate about my passion. Maybe I needed a break so I could be more grateful for the chance to be able to stay home with my family. Maybe I needed a break so I could see which things I missed the most creatively so I could do more of those things. I am not sure what the answer is, but I will get there.. and of course, I will keep you posted!!

So, I have been hearing all about green smoothies for a while now. I need to find one I love so I can add it to my diet but everytime I see something blended up, I think it should taste like a milk shake or something.

So, here is where I need your help.. I want to try your favorite heathy smoothie. Keep in mind, I don't want something that will spike my blood sugar and it has to taste good.. I know, I can't think of how that works either.. SO, impress me.. Dazzle me and if I love your green smoothie the mostest, I will have some great prize for you.. I am thinking a new apron or some cute new pot holders!

Ready, set.. GO!!

I was going to create a brand new blog today. I have been working on ideas for a blog for a while now, making list of things to blog about, talking to people about helping me with some fun contest ideas, just lots of little ideas. I came by this blog to see if there was anything I could use to remind me how I did this or that. I started to read through the few posts I made and realized my guts were in here.. I couldn't discard it. I re read a few posts that took me immediately back to the moments I wrote them and reminded me some very significant life lessons.
I wanted to start a new blog so people couldn't tell how lame I was at doing it in the first place, but now, I can't leave it. I can't toss away some of the things I wrote, not because I am great writer, but because the lessons were so great to me!

So here is my new start AGAIN, only this time I come prepared and armed with ideas about what I want to talk about, what lots of people tell me I need to share and questions I want answers to.

I was going to name my new blog STONE SOUP. Do you remember that story about how someone wanted to make soup but had nothing to make it with? One by one people would bring their little addition to the soup, potatoes and onions and carrots and such, until finally there was a delicious soup to be shared. That is kinda the hopes I have for my blog. That I will bring what I have to offer and you will share and together we will make this delicious creation for everyone to enjoy!
There will be some tutorials that friends have asked for about clothing I have made in to other stuff and other sewing experiments. There will be some recipes and such. There will be some DYI projects. There will be some opinions about world stuff. There will be stuff about my weight loss journey and my running journey. There will be spiritual stuff and funny stuff and sad stuff. Just a little bit of everything that makes up life.
I am excited to share. I hope I can find lots of people willing to add to my "soup".
The first post I am going to do, just to give a little more insight to who I am and what I love, I am going to repost a facebook "thing" from when facebook was first getting really popular. I am patting myself of the back and saying I did a good job of telling about myself in that little writing.
So here it goes!!

 1.One of the greatest things I have done in my life is to be a missionary in the Philippines. I learned so much about myself and my capacity to love someone so different me. I can, and do love people who are polar opposite of me in every way. I have learned that differences can be a source of strength!

2. 5 of the other great things I have are my kids. Each one of them is so different and amazing that I can’t believe God has trusted them to me!

3.I have an amazing husband who always tells me I am beautiful and who encourages me in every way to be the person I want to be. He is a military man, a nurse and a scholar.. meaning he is going back to school..... again.

4. I want to be a foster parent one day.

5. All my kids have J names, ( and it wasn’t planned either, believe it or not, it just came out that way) all my husband siblings have J names too!( there are 7 of them

6.After having 4 boys, I still wanted another one when I was pregnant with # 5! But I got my baby girl instead. I dig her.

7. I have taught my 6 year old to ask “please sir, can I have some more?” in an English accent just for my own amusement .

8. Most of my kids have earned a 2 dollar bill by reciting the preamble to the Constitution… and yes, they learned it by watching school house rock.

9.I am going to go back to school, soon. I just can't figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

10. I love to laugh and joke and do it most of the time. I make jokes when I am happy, scared, mad, anxious. People sometimes find it strange, but I would rather laugh than cry. But I do cry sometimes when I get really mad.

11. I love to cook. There is something very therapeutic and pure about chopping veggies and adding fresh ingredients to something simple to make something beautiful. For me, a good meal is one of my expressions of love to my family.

12. I love to sing. It does something to my soul to sing a beautiful song.

13. I have been through a painful divorce. One where I could have had hard feelings forever, but the best lesson I have learned in my life is that the atonement of Christ was not only for my sins that I commit, but for the pain I have suffered at the hands of someone else. He suffered for it all so that my pain can be healed, even erased in time.

14. I am shy. Crazy, but true. I won’t be the person making rounds around the room to introduce myself. I hang back, check things out and then when I feel comfortable I put myself out there.

15.I really don’t like my body. I don’t like that I have to wear my struggle and weakness on the outside of me where I can’t hide it.

16.Our favorite thing to do on Sundays is laying around watching Planet Earth ( I highly recommend it!) Oh, and making cookies to deliver to a friend, oh and taking a nap after Church.

17.My favorite place on earth is in the Philippines, lots of different places around the country. It is all so beautiful and peaceful. I haven’t been back in so long, but I would love to go there one day.

18. I am learning to knit, but I cheat and use the round loom just to make myself feel like I can actually make something. I can crochet and make easy quilts, but I will enjoy it more when we buy a bigger house so I don’t have to clean up my mess every time I get it out.

19. After all those years in High school of never feeling good at anything, I played the lead in a musical a few years ago. It was awesome.

20. I love ball room dance. Although I do not have the body of a dancer, I have the spirit of one!! Lol

21.The best year of my life, before I got married and had kids was my first year of College. Whenever I am sad or feeling out of sorts, I close my eyes and think back to that time and I ALWAYS end up smiling.

22 .My dad was a race car driver, I say my lead foot is genetic.

23. My husband kicks my butt hulahooping on the Wii fit!! So not cool that the white boy can move his hips better than the part latin girl.

24. I love to decorate and move furniture. When my hubby and I first got married he traveled every week...He asked me to leave a light on for him all the time, cause he never knew where the furniture was going to be when he came home.

25. I have had kidney stones, 4 times. I would rather give birth.

Well that is is for now! See ya on the flip side!

So beautiful!! I will finish blogging about this later but I wanted to put the pictures.

Tuesday I had a new program installed. No, not on my computer, in my body. I have been contemplating this decision for a few years really. Any one who has struggled with their weight probably considers weight loss surgery at some point or another.

I kept telling myself, when I was sick of being fat , I would do something about it. So I would lose 20-30 pounds and then gain it back. I went to my doctor asking for his help, asking what he thought of the lap band procedure. He told me it was a cop out and said I just needed to go to weight watcher like his wife did. Well thanks.. wish I had thought of that before.. oh wait, I had done weight watchers.. several times.

I studied the procedure for a LONG time. Read everything, the good , the bad and the ugly. For thoes of you who don't know, the lap band is a small ring that is put around the top part of the stomach making it very difficult to over eat, but its real purpose is to help to feel full longer and ultimatly to eat less and loes weight. It is not a cop out. It is still hard work. I will still need to choose my food wisely. Since I can only consume small amount of food, I have to pick the foods that have the most nutrition. I still have to exercise. It is no magic bullet. It takes a lot of courage.

I am a few days post op. I made it through about 3 weeks of nothing but liquids to prepare for the surgery. I am sore, but recovering well I think. Today was the first day I got to eat mushie foods. I prepared myself 1/2 cup of cottage cheese with a tablespoon of applesauce. I couldn't finish it, but it was great to actually eat something again.

I have not told very many people what I have done, until now. But I have been so inspired by other peoples blogs about their weight loss journey that I thought I would see if I could summons the guts to post my journey and share what I am learning with others.

I have had a few people tell me I was crazy, a few people tell me I wasn't big enough to consider weight loss surgery ( which is a whole other blog post in itself! ) But for the most part, the people closest to me have been very supportive. Especially my hubby who has picked up the slack for me while I haven't wanted to be in the kitchen as much. He is adopting many of the same eating habits I will be for his own health. He has always loved me no matter what the scale said but he is also my biggest cheerleader because he has seen how much I have struggled and knows how much I wanted to try this. I don't want to let him down.

So, here I go.. wish me luck!!

Time OUT

I just got home from a wonderful, albeit brief trip with my husband to Branson.
I didn't want to stay in just any place, so I hunted around until I found a lodge called White Lake Lodge. It is owned by a very nice couple. He has a fishing business where he takes people on trout fishing trips and she is a lovely retired 1st grade school teacher. The place is tucked back into the woods a bit, about 20 minutes outside Branson.
Our room was cozy and comfortable and romantic I think. We had a great view off the deck in the back overlooking Tablerock Lake.
Thursday morning I woke up to sun shining through the window and got up to grab my camera. I was sure it was going to be spactular. We looked through the widow and were suprised to find it was still mostly overcast and gray and foggy, but there was one little spot where the sun was shinning through the clouds and right through only our window.. at least that how it seemed to me. Here are a few shots I took. It really was beautiful. It was still and quiet and all you could hear were the birds and small critters rustling about.
I didn't get too many more pictures of our trip, but these were the ones that will remind me of my short but sweet little trip. I would like to go back again soon.. it was peace to my soul. I think we all need to take time out trips like that. We didn't go very far, it wasn't super fancy, but it was just enough to recharge, reconnect and miss my kids. I think we will plan another short trip like this in 6 months.

OH.. and least I should forget, on the way home we also stopped at Lamberts.. home of the THROWED ROLLS.. this is the place where they serve the most delicious rolls.. but only by air.. you have to catch them. While you are eating or waiting for your food, they come along with big bowls of fried potatoes or okra or some other ridiculously yummy naughty thing. Then you get your plate of food which was huge and perfect comfort food. My husband ordered their sweet potatoes that were heavenly. I am on a mission to find the recipe. The sweet waitress said they use cinnamon oil in them.. I am telling you, those potatoes WERE desert. So delicious.
I found a blog with a recipe for rolls that are as yummy as Lamberts.. Here is the link incase you would like to try them. And if anyone out there knows how to make those sweet potatoes.. I am BEGGING you.. please teach me!!


http://dineanddish.net/2010/03/mythical-balance-recipe-just-like-lamberts-throwed-rolls/comment-page-1/#comment-68441

If I actually get another blog done this week.. I am going to officially say I am blogging again.. I have a few more pillow case dresses to finish and then I will post picture. They turned out cute and were really easy!!
Till then!!

Here we go again!

I felt really embarrassed today when I told a friend I had a blog but realized it had been a year since I wrote anything! Then I realized WOW.. a whole year has gone by! I remember writing what I did.. and I remembered the personal struggles I was having and I am happy to report that I did make it through all those crazy things! I did find myself spiritually stronger, less judgmental and more grateful!

After enjoying a few blogs of other friends I had that same old pang of regret for not writing. It is good for the soul! It is good to kinda get things out there sometimes. After reading a few things this week I am so surprised to see just how much alike we all are. Us women in particular. Of the blogs I have read recently, the women were younger than me, way older than me, richer than me, brought up better than me, had more or less children than me, lived in nicer houses or not as comfortably as I do, had way different talents than me, were better or worse house keepers than me.. my point..and yes I do have one, is that no matter who we are, we all seem to have so many of the same struggles, hope, and desires regardless of where we came from.

So.. I feel inspired now.. I know, I know.. I have said it before.. but I really do want to keep up my blog better. Not for other people so much as for me. It is good to look back and see how I made it through things that seemed so hard. I am getting ready to go through new struggles. I found out this week that I am diabetic. It was not a complete suprise, but it was still kind of a shock to hear the doctor say the words. I am sure it will be a journey that will be a learning experience for me. I am not even sure what to say about it at this point.. but I have decided blogging about it will help me keep things in perspective..that is what I hope anyway!!

Gotta run for now. Need find some sugar free chocolate deserts!!