I am sorry I have been a bit neglectful in my blogging this week. It has been one of THOSE weeks.
There is one thing I really want to share though. It is amazing what lessons we can learn from small and simple things.

My baby girl is done. Done with pull ups, done with wet sheets in the middle of the night. She is completely potty trained. I know, some of you may be saying " big deal". But for me it is huge. It is a reminder that my life is beginning to move into a different season. Which is a whole other blog in itself. The point is my baby is no longer a baby. She can dress her self, go potty all by herself, clean up her messes herself ( ok, that was just wishful thinking, but I thought I would try it and see how it felt!) All of my kids are getting older and they just don't need my help as much. As happy as I am for the extra cash from no more pull ups and less work changing her and all the laundry she created, I am sad too. All but the youngest can get themselves something to eat. Actually the little one can too, but only by destroying the whole kitchen. They can get themselves ready for school with a little prompting ( ok, with a little yelling, who am I fooling). They can put their clothes on and comb their own hair. They spend a lot of time telling me they can do it themselves. It hurts me a little.

I am starting wonder if this is what Heavenly Father feels like sometimes when we get to a point where we decide we are doing things on our own pretty good and forget that we need him.

Just as I sit down to write, my 5 year old came to me and asked me to fix something for him. He could have done it all by himself, but he said it comes out better when I help him.

Aren't kids smart? Don't they teach us some of the best lessons of all? Aren't all things easier when we have His help?

Yes, I can figure things out on my own. But when I do, how do I know I have followed my Fathers will unless I ask him?
How do I know I am receiving the best blessings from Him if I don't know what it is that will lead me to those places where the best blessings are waiting for me?
I say best blessings because there are blessing attached to all good that we try to do, sometimes it is merely the blessing of trying something that fails and learning to try again. But when we follow where the Lord leads us, there is so much more he is waiting to give us, to show us, to teach us.
I am hoping this week I will remember that things just come out better when I have his help. I am hoping I will spend more time on my knees this week finding out where the Lord would have me go, what he would have me do, who he needs me to touch. I know He probably doesn't care where I do my grocery shopping, or what color I paint my room, but there are things, daily things he can help me with. He can help me decide what words I need to use to help a child who is struggling. He can help me know who in my ward might need a phone call or a visit. He can teach me how to overcome something I am dealing with. He can and He is waiting for us to come, so he can make things come out better for us.

It is kinda funny, but the last time I blogged was after a Time Out for Women. They are so inspiring to me.
I went to one this past weekend with some friends and had a great time. It filled me up and made me glad to be an LDS woman. We have so much given to us as to why we are here and how important our roles are in this life.
But sad to say, after all the upliftment...is that a word? Oh well, it is now, I still came home and noticed something new about myself to be unhappy about...I have barnacles. Yes, barnacles. You may wonder what I am talking about, but there maybe a few out there who have reached the age to know just what I am referring to. Skin tags is another name from them. I got them from my mother I am sure. I do not always appreciate the things she shares with me... I have tiny skin tags on my neck and collar bone areas and a few other places. I hate them. I want them gone. But there is no way to have them all removed, I am just not willing, so I guess I don't actually hate them enough.
There's another thing I don't understand. Why must our moles grow hairs out of them after we reach a certain age. I have had the same moles for years. I thought they were kinda cool before, my own little distinguishing beauty marks. But why are they now sprouting hair of their own. I am hoping to not find out it means something terrible, so for now I continue to pluck, shave and pray them away...
So, now even after a weekend of celebrating the joy of being a woman and all the good I can do, I am stuck with these new things to add to my list of things I would like to change about myself. I truly am getting to that point where I see that I do have some good qualities,but I still lack the ability to not pick out every physical flaw and dwell on it. Why do we do this to ourselves. I would love some insight!
Well, least I finish on a negative note, let me add some thoughts about things that make me happy.
The music of Michael McLean. I bawled through his entire performance. He is a wonderful guy.
The friends I have who's houses are as messy as mine. I love those people! You know who you are!
I love cool fall days and all fall colors. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, which are not qualities I normally have.
I love people who make me laugh,( which by the way are also the same people who's houses are messy as mine....I see some kind of pattern there. I will have to think about that).
I love when my baby girl throws her arms around my neck and tells me how much she missed me even when I just went next door to take a dish back.
I love seeing my kids discover something new and cool, like this morning when we found a stick bug hanging on our front door, yes we ended up late for school, but it was so awesome to see the wonder in their faces.
I love when I ask my husband to do something and he says he would do anything for me. I wonder why I get so annoyed when he asks me to do something for him that I don't have scheduled. One of these days, I hope to be as good of a wife as he is a husband. I got lucky with this guy!
Ok, I think that is enough for now. Thanks for joining me in my quest to find out how to be the person I was meant to be. I have faith that I will figure it out, or die laughing at myself while I try!

This is it. I know there is something for me to do in this life. I feel like I am stuck in here somewhere in this body I don't like, and not living up to what I was sent here to do.
For years I have felt like I was supposed to be a inspirational/motivational speaker, or I was supposed to reach people and help them. I recently went to a meeting called Time Out for Women. It is the 4th one I have been to. Every time I go, I get that feeling again, like THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING. I think I have something inside me that I need to share with people, to help them be better and feel better and learn to laugh!
The problem is, I am not sure what I have done in my life that people could look at me and say, wow, look at that, maybe I can do that too.
Losing weight this time maybe the secret. I think I have figured out how to do it.
I am finding it is not actually HOW you lose the weight, or why you even gained the weight to begin with, cause believe me, I have beat myself in the head over and over listen to Dr.Phil and Oprah tell me I must understand why I am fat and how I got this way. I don't believe that any more, I believe the important thing is who you team up with to get it done~! I am understanding that I have finally got the right teammembers. I have finally acknowledged that I cannot do this on my own. I must rely on the Lord to comfort me instead of my potato's. Not only Him, but my husband.
So today I have begun my mission. I am going to find out who I really am, who is the person stuck in here somewhere. I have something to say, I can make you laugh and feel good and when I finally drop these pounds that are hiding me, I will have something to say that might inspire you and make you feel good about yourself. I am feeling better about myself already!