So my green smoothie plan was a total fail on my part. I still have never gotten to it! I am not sure how I got so busy all the sudden. Maybe it was starting this job!
I haven't worked out side the home since my oldest, who is 18 was 5. That is a long time, but when my brother asked if I would like to fill in temporarily/ possibly permanently, as the receptionist at his work, I thought, what the heck! My kids are all in school and because my husband is home doing his school work during the week, there was no reason for both of us to be there 24/7.
I have learned a great deal in the last 4 weeks of being at work!
On one hand, getting a paycheck and feeling like I am contributing is nice. Having a job makes me feel useful. It is inspiring me to go finish my education so I can do a  job that I will love. I don't mind this, but to be honest, I am blogging a work because it is VERY slow and boring..(.btw, if you need to granite in your house.. give me a call!!) But it has given me tons of time for some things that I need to do anyway. Like scriputre study. I have gotten some great in site in the last few days from having time to really digest some passages and talks.It has given me lots of time to look at things I want to do to my house and yard. I have had tons of time to look at homeschool ideas. I have brushed up on my math skills ( although there are really not enough hours in the day to grant me the kind of help necessary to really "get" math...)  I have reconnected with some old friends, I have read lots of blogs and gotten lots of inspiration in almost every area of my life. So while, on one hand, I have had plenty of time to think of what I want to do, I have no actual real time to do any of it! It is a catch 22!( where did that phrase come from anyway?) I am darned if I do, and I am darned if I don't.

 I have decided one thing is certain, in order to be fulfilled in a job outside the home, I would need to be able to help people and make a difference. Years and years of being home with kids can sometimes make me feel like I am not making a difference, I am not helping anyone. But being away from home reminds me of all the reasons I had always wanted to be a mom and a home maker in the first place. I do make a difference, I do matter and I do help people.

So I am not certain what step I will take next. I feel pulled to go to school..but not certain about what area of study I should pursue. I am trying to find my passion and my direction and it is possible I just needed a little break from what I did every day to make me understand that my passion and my direction is still the same as it always was. To be home, taking care of my family..being there for my friends, engaging with my community, serving in my church and creating a home. Maybe I needed a break to just help me be more passionate about my passion. Maybe I needed a break so I could be more grateful for the chance to be able to stay home with my family. Maybe I needed a break so I could see which things I missed the most creatively so I could do more of those things. I am not sure what the answer is, but I will get there.. and of course, I will keep you posted!!