Look, I am doing it.. this is my second blog in a few weeks!
I had a major personal struggle this week, you know, the kind you just have to move through on your own because it is either too personal, too embarrassing, too something to share with anyone else. Well, that was me this week.. and it is not done yet, but maybe the hard part is over.. maybe.
But the fact of the matter is I have no one to blame but myself. I caused my own pain. I knew better, I completely knew better, but I did things anyway that in the end would do nothing but cause myself and maybe others I cared about pain.
But what amazes me even more is even when I am stupid and thoughtless and selfish, God still allows me to use those things to learn and grow and be a better person. Nothing we do is ever for nothing. Mistakes are even for something.. What a concept!
What I have learned this week is we judge each other way too much. We have no idea what choices we will make in a given situation, we would like to think we would, but we just don't know when and where a weakness may rear its head in our lives. Learn from our errors and allow others to learn from theirs too without being so harsh and critical.
I am still in a stuggle.. I think I will be for a while. I think I will make it through, I always have before. I am just reminded of a story someone told a while ago.. I probably won't tell it quiet right but it was about a man and God. God gave the man a giant rock and told him to push it every day. So the man did, but the rock was so big, no matter how much he pushed the rock would never move. So the man became frustrated and wanted to quit. God explained to the man he never asked him to MOVE the rock, just to push it. It was in the act of pushing against the giant rock that the man became stronger and then together with GOD, he could move his rock.
I was right, I didn't tell it the way I hear it in my head.. but still, I hope as I PUSH my rock, my spiritual muscles will grow. I am never left to move the rock on my own, I know that, I have always known that.. but I guess I got frustrated, and wanted to give up.
Good luck with YOUR rocks this week!